All I Need
by kerali
Summary: Veronica does what she does best, run, when she find an unexpected item in a bedside table, but finds exactly what she's looking for. This story was originally written for and posted on AO3 February 2016 Veronica Mars/Logan Echolls Smut-A-Thon.
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Veronica Mars.

 _Veronica knocks on the door of the Neptune Grand penthouse like she has so many times before. She's looking at the floor as she waits for him to open the door, she doesn't know if she wants to yell at him or kiss him, but as the door opens, she sees that he has his guard up. She takes a hesitant half-step back until he opens the door completely and stands to the side in invitation for her to come in. As she enters, he says "I'm a little surprised to see you here." She turns slightly towards him._

" _I'm not sure why you're surprised, I tend to show up at your door after you go 'hell hath no fury'"_

" _Isn't your boyfriend worried about you chasing after another guy?"_

 _She cuts him with a look but doesn't say anything. Her eyes burn into his and she wants to tell him that her boyfriend is no more, but she doesn't, can't find the words. She takes a step towards him and reaches her hand towards his chest as he leans down to kiss her deeply."_

Veronica sits up, suddenly awake with her heart racing. _Fuck Veronica, is that a nightmare or a dream._ Even as she asks herself that question, she knows that she only wishes her last conversation with him went that well. Instead of a passionate embrace, she found him packing for a South America surf trip before the semester was even over. She knows that he did finish the last of his classes, but he wasn't staying at the grand, letting Dick and his dad take the room over the summer. He didn't even show any interest in her at all. _That's not true, he was interested, but he said he wasn't built to stay on the sidelines, so he was leaving you completely._ She tries to comfort herself knowing that he admitted part of the reason for leaving was that he actually had some sense of self-preservation and figured laying low out of the county for a while would maybe let Gory forget about him, but he showed no interest in keeping in touch with her, and he hadn't, so she cut him out, hadn't even let herself think of him as a real thing ever since.

As her breathing and heart beat even out, she realizes that she's not in her own bed and looks behind her to see the sleeping form of the 'nice' boyfriend who is thankfully dressed in his flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, while she is dressed in one of his shirts. _That's what you get for going to sleep unsatisfied._ She tries to look around for her phone, but it's still dark outside. The alarm clock reads 5:15am and she starts to look for something to write a note on before she goes home. She can't find anything on his desk and looks in the drawer of the bedside table. She finds the jumbo box of condoms and callously thinks to herself that he might have been a bit ambitious in that purchase, but then her hands feels the hard, velvety cover of a jewelry box. She holds her breath as she opens the box to see a nice diamond ring staring at her in the dark. Her breath becomes rapid as she forgoes the note and starts looking frantically for her clothes, not even bothering to close the box or the bedside drawer. She finally finds her clothes on the chair where she set them the night before. She dresses quickly, tossing off his shirt with more passion than when she undressed the night before. She's jumping and pulling on her shoes and opening the door to the bedroom when he wakes up.

"V'ronica, w's goin on?"

"I'm sorry Piz, I can't, I'm just… sorry."

She hurries out of the apartment, grabbing her purse on her way past the kitchen counter and is thankful that Wallace isn't up yet because she knows she will get an earful later, and honestly for good reason.

She's glad that she decided to drive to Wallace and Piz's new off-campus apartment, even though it is in walking distance from the dorm she moved into with Mac a few days ago. As she drives she considers if Piz will become more collateral damage to her life like Parker was. Even though Parker had stayed in touch and they were on good terms, it was still clear that she was more than happy to transfer to a different college.

Veronica opens the door to her room slowly, not wanting to wake up Mac, but really hoping she's awake anyway. She's not really one for girl talk, but this is a new level of running away for her and she knows she needs perspective. Mac is peacefully unaware in her sleep state of the drama unfolding in her new roommate's life and Veronica quietly curls up on her bed to try and sleep.

She's still there an hour later trying to figure out what went wrong. _What the hell were you thinking?_ Her phone buzzes quietly against her nightstand for the third time. She doesn't bother to look at it again, she knows it's Piz, she knows that he's probably wondering what went wrong. She can't tell if she's more upset by the dream or what happened after. They have been having fun this summer, everything light and simple. She stopped working cases for her dad after he lost the election. She got an internship at a local newspaper after the FBI fell through and last night had been fine. She's been busy and that's why she didn't finish, she just couldn't get out of her head, couldn't relax. _Sure Veronica, it had nothing to do with his hands not feeling right, nothing to do with his kisses not making you forget yourself. Nothing to do with his eyes not seeing through you and your walls._ Sometimes she hated the voice inside her head, at times it sounds suspiciously like Lilly, but really she thinks it's just her deepest thoughts that she doesn't really want to acknowledge.

An hour later she was still laying there. The ring of Mac's alarm cut through the silent room as Mac began to stir. She hit snooze and rolled over trying to stay asleep a little bit longer on a Sunday morning. Mac slowly opened her eyes to see her roommate staring at her from the bed across from hers.

"Veronica, why are you staring at me? No wait, why are you here, and dressed?"

She and Veronica both sit up slowly and lean against the walls next to their beds to face each other. Veronica's eyes start to glisten with moisture that she tries to hold back as Mac crosses the small space of their room to sit next to her best friend and doesn't mention why her alarm was set for a Saturday morning. "What's going on, did something happen with Piz?"

"Yeah."

Veronica pauses like she can't speak the next part out loud.

"He had a diamond ring...in his bed stand…it looked new."

Mac sits there shocked with her arm around Veronica's shoulders. "I don't really know what to say. Did he say something, was he really going to propose. I mean, I know you have gotten closer this summer, but I mean did you two ever even talk about anything that serious?"

"No, I don't think so. I think he talked some about how his parents met in college, and talked about how happy they are because he was helping plan some party for them in a few weeks. Maybe some kind of anniversary party, but I was thinking about cases my dad has going on at the office and what he should do, so I wasn't paying much attention."

Mac has a soft smile on her face as she considers her unaware friend. "Is it so surprising that he might think about marrying you or proposing?"

"Yes, we've barely been a couple."

"Um, actually, next week will be six months. He was planning a special dinner."

Veronica cringes and looks shocked. _Yeah, six months of time crawling by, but Piz barely registered as a factor. And be honest Veronica, when you found the other diamond, you trusted that he knew you and you didn't run. What does that say?_ "I made a huge mistake."

"I know he's upset, but talk to him, it's Piz, he'll want to work it out."

Veronica just turns her head towards Mac and leans it against the wall like she's too tired to hold it up any more. "Not Piz."

Mac looks at her with confusion obvious on her face. "You don't mean…"

She is interrupted by a knock on their door and she looks at their clock that shows its already 8:30. "Oh, shit, we planned on working on the website for a bit and you were supposed to be with Piz and Wallace today."

Veronica stares blankly at the door as Mac goes to open it. He's leaning against the door as Mac opens it for him to come in like it's too early in the morning for him to be up and not on a surfboard. He yawns and casually drapes his arm around her shoulders as he says "You insisted on meeting this early so my ex- wouldn't have to see me, and I'm here, the least you could have done is get dressed." He doesn't notice her apprehension until she pulls out from under his arm and says "Well, about that…"

Veronica comes out of her paralyzed state and says so softly that he barely hears her "I'm just going to go and let you work for a bit. I'll be back later."

"No, I should go, you obviously came to see Mac for a reason."

Veronica starts towards the door, thankful that being dressed from earlier allows her a quick escape, and hears him say to Mac as she shuts the door behind her "Fuck, she's the ex…"

The area around the dorm is quiet as freshman haven't moved in yet, and everyone else is sleeping in on their last Saturday before school starts back. She stops in front of the building as she thinks of where she's supposed to go while Mac has him over, and realizes that she doesn't have anywhere. Her only two good friends are with her exes, and her dad wouldn't understand. She knows that deep down a part of him is disappointed in her, even though he'd never admit to it. _Why'd you run from him Veronica, is it really so awful to be in the same room as him while he works with Mac._ She doesn't know entirely, but she thinks that maybe she still isn't ready for his attention to be on someone else, even if it's not at all romantic.

She feels him approach, without a sound, behind her. She doesn't know why she is still so attuned to his presence, but she's helpless. She can tell he pauses as he approaches her bench and she watches as he begins to walk past her, but he pauses again and turns towards her again. She maintains her face turned straight ahead, but isn't ashamed that her eyes follow him as he sits next to her. _You mean as far from you as the bench will allow without him risking falling on the ground._ She doesn't know why he's here, or what Mac might have said, so she doesn't move as she waits for him to speak. It seems fitting since he decided to take himself out of her life.

"Hey Veronica."

She barely acknowledges him by tensing and slightly turning her head so she can see his profile.

"I guess you could tell that I didn't realize that you were roommates with Mac this year. She never said your name and I didn't know that Parker apparently transferred colleges."

"It's fine, you two can work, i'm fine out here, in fact I was just going to go… somewhere"

"Come on, obviously something is going on. Mac didn't say anything, but I've known you for almost half my life. You are never this still, or this quiet, unless it's something big. And I know we decided we would give each other space, but you can still talk to me if you need to."

Veronica finally turned to give him her full attention. "WE" she pokes his chest with her finger "decided nothing, I said it might take some time for us to be friends, and you just left." She pokes his chest again harder, "YOU chose to not have anything to do with me and apparently had no problems with following through."

He grabs her finger gently with his hand. "What did you expect me to do all summer, watch as you fell in love with Piz. Pine over you as you try so desperately to find the life you don't want me to be a part of. I did that with Duncan and I'm sorry that I didn't trust myself to make good decisions in that situation, but you should be familiar with not trusting my decisions."

How could he start so sweet, but end so condescendingly. "That's quite the revisionist take on our last conversation. I seem to remember it being more about 'leaving me' than about being concerned."

She pulls her finger away from him and he turns to look in front of them, and she's grateful he looked away first. She studies his features and he looks almost sad. "How did we end up here. How did I end up dating a guy for six months without realizing that while I was just barely holding myself together, he was making plans for a future and shopping for rings?" She's still looking at him when he turns to her with a blank face. He's apparently perfected hiding his feelings for her, because she can't read him now at all.

"Are you talking about me or Piz?"

God, how dare he. "You really think that's how I would think of our relationship? You really think you meant that little?"

"What would make me think different. I was the one thinking about a future. For the first time in my life, I thought I might have a real one, but you were always slipping away, just hanging on. I was the one who wanted a partner, you were the one who wanted, always wants, it to all be on your terms."

He looks away from her again, seeing in the distance before he speaks again. "I'm sorry if that's what happened with Piz. But this summer I realized a few things. The first is that ever since that first breakup of ours, i've put up walls, I wanted things to work, but never really thought you would stick around. The second, is that I want you in my life. I'm not giving up on a friendship as old as ours, at least if you're willing to accept that I will intervene if I think you're in danger, but I'll talk to you first."

He looks at her again, his gaze warm this time and she thinks on how quickly his mood shifts. _This is what you've needed. He's your confidence, now you need to be his. Why build up walls when he sees through them anyway._ She realizes that this voice, her voice, has been right, but is she ready to listen. "If you are so concerned about my safety, why did you leave, without a word for months?"

He looks almost like he's blushing as he says "Um, well, Mac helped with that. I told her that I missed you, but wanted you to have your space. I asked her to let me know if you missed me, or seemed like you might be getting into something. But you never did."

Veronica looks at him in frustration, but finally breaks as tears pool in her eyes. "But i've missed you. All summer, trying to make everyone happy, but barely holding it together because you were gone. I NEEDED you here, with me." He takes Veronica into his arms and she can smell his clean scent as she buries her fists into his shirt and holding on tight.

His voice is choked and he kisses the top of her head softly. "I didn't know, I had no idea. Why didn't you say something, anything. I needed you too, I never feel whole without you."

"Me either, but I didn't know how to fight for you, showing up had always worked before."

He smiles in her hair. "That didn't work out so well in the long run, words, even yelling if you're telling me how you feel, helps too."

She pulls away and looks at him with watery eyes. "I need you. I spent six months with Piz, but it's like he didn't even register as part of my life. I didn't keep him separate like I did with you, because I just didn't register him as being there. How could I do that?"

"The same way I date other girls, I've just had more practice with it. They're nothing, compared to you." He reaches for her face, brushing his fingers under her eyes before cupping her face in his warm hand. "Do you want to go get some breakfast, sounds like we have a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah, that sounds good" she says as she leans her face into his hand.

He stands and reaches for her hand to pull her up and reaches his arm across her shoulders. _You need to tell him Veronica, he deserves to know that you're in this completely._ They start walking and Veronica can see his Range Rover in the distance. She feels more at peace than she has since the last time she saw him. As they approach and he walks her to the passenger side, she turns to face him and puts her hand on his chest. He looks curiously at her as she tries to gather her courage. "I love you. I always really did, but you have to know I love you."

The grin that lights up his face is unlike anything she has seen from him in years. "I love you too." Her responding smile is bright and she feels lighter than air as she reaches for the door to the spacious backseat. His face becomes apprehensive as she steps into his car, but he follows her quickly. He reaches for her shoulder as she moves to face him. "What's going on Veronica?"

"I want to kiss my boyfriend, but knowing us, it probably shouldn't be public."

His face is pinched as she leans forward to kiss him. He puts his other hand on her shoulder as well, but instead of pulling her forward, he holds her back.

"What's wrong, is this not ok?" Veronica starts to pull back herself and tenses as her walls start to go back up.

"NO! I mean, yes, it's ok. It's great even. But what is this, what do you really want?"

She relaxes and smiles as she begins to understand his concerns. She pushes him back to where he's sitting on the seat and she moves to straddle his lap. His expression and eyes questioning her actions as his hands reach for her hips she tells him, "I want to feel like myself."

She reaches her arms around his neck and leans down to kiss his cheek and lightly kisses her way to his ear as she whispers "I want you to make me feel like me again." She kisses and nips at his ear as she begins to kiss down his neck. She feels his breath catch as she finds a particularly sensitive spot and reaches her tongue out to taste him. His hands clench on her hips and he pulls her towards him, closer on his lap. His head leans to the side as his hands start to move under her shirt and up her back. His hands are warm as they graze across her flushed skin. They reach her shoulders and he pulls her down as he arches towards her. She can feel him hard beneath her and she gasps at the intensity of her feelings in this moment. He takes a hand from her shirt and takes advantage of her head leaning back to grasp her face and bring it to his for a scorching kiss.

They are still arching against each other, almost painfully, but not willing to stop until they finally have to take a breath. Veronica runs her hands down his chest as she says "You're the only one who makes me feel like being myself is good enough." As she runs her hands under his shirt and moves up his chest he raises his arms to let her take it off.

He grasps her face again in his hands as they slow for a moment. "You are perfect. We may fight, and argue, but never doubt that you are perfect." He leans to her, giving her a sweet kiss on her lips before moving to kiss her ear and neck as his hands reach down to the hem of her shirt. She raises her arms as he leans back and he whisks her shirt off. He quickly removes her bra and his eyes hold hers as he begins to touch her breasts. "You are sexy, beautiful and passionate." He kisses her again more passionately and then whispers "Never doubt that I believe you are perfect and that I need you."

She's overwhelmed by his words and the feeling of his skin against hers. The passion between them increases again as they kiss and touch anything within reach. She can tell how wet she is, just from making out and needs more. She reaches down to his pants and tries to undo them with little success while she is trying to stay as close as she can. He registers her movement and reluctantly he shifts her to sit on the seat next to him so they can focus on removing their pants. She's done first since he also thought ahead to get the condom out of his wallet. His pants and boxers are still on an ankle as she reaches over to touch his dick. He groans and pauses as she grins and grasps him more firmly. He leans back into the seat as she straddles him again and leans down to kiss him.

She loves that she can forget the world with him and just be. She registers his hands moving towards her center and a long finger entering her and testing her. She lets go of thought and insecurities, inherently trusting him with her body as she strokes and kisses his body, wanting him to feel as loved and needed as he makes her feel. She hears his soft words and expletives as he takes her higher. She reaches for the condom and he reaches for her hips as she rolls it over his erection. He steadies her as she sinks down on him. Instincts take over and they are thrusting together until she feels that final push of his thumb on her clit, his mouth on her neck, and his arm around her waist, pulling her to him. She explodes and can feel him coming too.

When she registers time, she thinks just a few minutes later, she's laying on his chest with his hand gently caressing up and down her back. She looks up at him and smiles, exhausted, but happy for the first time in months. He looks at her lovingly and smiles back as he brushes her cheek with his hand. _Logan_


End file.
